Goldstar Shinyboots, he says that’s his real name, was a big-time singer slash songwriter in the early part of the aftermath of the last century and later, but a bit before that.
He was famous for dozens of hits including, ‘My luurv hurts for 2000 reasons, let me tell you them all’.
Nobody I know, listened to the ending of that song.
He also wrote, ‘I luurv love’ and he followed that up with ‘I love luurv’ and straight after that he came up with, ‘I luurv luurv’.
‘Luurv’ became the most looked up word on the internet because of Goldstar.
Most people were disappointed to find out that it wasn’t a swear word but simply a local variation on ‘intimate affection’, which he obviously luurved.
Of course, you couldn’t sing ‘I have intimate affection for love’, it does not flow and many singers are sensitive about flow, especially beer, and luurv I guess.
Pundits and gamblers, office workers and expectant mothers all believed that Goldstar Shinyboots couldn’t possibly come up with another big hit.
Yet he did, two more in fact.
He stunned them with ‘What is love, only luurv’ and ‘I luurv your love’.
After that Goldstar Shinyboots hit a brick wall.
He couldn’t think of another hit.
He tried and failed with ‘Spoons are made to lick’ and ‘Keep your pet mouse out of my car you bitch!’.
That one received an ‘R’ rating which didn’t go down too well with his church buddies.
It looked like Goldstar’s shiny boots were getting dull.
But as luck had it, he was at his lowest, sitting in a gutter with a heavy cloak of failure weighing down on his shoulders and down to his last $15 million dollars, when a girl sat down beside him.
“Hi, aren’t you Goldstar Shinyboots the handsome and sexy singer slash songwriter?”
Goldstar looked up through the salty tears and apart from the short skirt and tight top, he was sure he was looking at an angel.
“Who are you?” He mumbled.
“Why I’m Honeybumpkins Prettylips and before you ask me, yes that’s my real name.”
“Do you want to marry me?” she asked with the sweet innocence of a drunken nun.
“Oh yes please!” He said.
Lucky he said ‘please’ because Honeybumpkins was a bit of a tyrant when it came to good manners.
Things must have gone well after the wedding because the hits just started pouring out again.
That’s when he wrote: ‘We luurv love, thank you’ and he followed that up with ‘We love luurv, please’ and straight after that he came up with, ‘Excuse me, we luurv luurv’.
At every concert, you could see Honeybumpkins Prettylips in the front row mouthing the words, “Don’t forget to say thanks at the end Darling!”
It’s easy to be a one-hit wonder, just listen to your heart and follow the instructions.
Unfortunately, after that, most people let the ego get in the way and instead of a work from the heart it becomes an effort from the head.
The head is controlled by the ego and it’s a copyist, not a creator.
If you want to stay on the top of the hit parade, you must keep your ego in the cupboard.
Your ego is the great pretender.
Your intuition is the action; you are the reaction.