Everwonder Wotsup

The man who lived in a bottle didn’t choose to be there, especially for thousand years.
That’s a long time to live in a bottle, even one hundred years is.
He was conned and corked, that’s the story, especially written for those with a short attention span.
Of course, he wasn’t to know that a thousand years later, the whole of humanity would have a short attention span.
It had taken him the best part of 430 years to come up with that neat little summary.
Canned and corked.
Everwonder Wotsup had no choice but to be patient until the day when some lucky soul would pick up his bottle, innocently pop the cork and set him free.
Then, as per the agreement that he had been forced to sign, he was to offer 3 wishes to the person who freed him.
Out of these three wishes only one would be granted and that one, would be Everwonder Wotsup’s choice.
The other two wishes would not be wasted; they would be granted to Everwonder Wotsup.
Three wishes, one to give away and two to stay.
Once this was done, Everwonder would be free to wander off and join society once again, enjoying the benefit of the two wishes he had been granted.
Eventually, the coral encrusted bottle was washed up on a sandy shore early one morning at around 7.30.
It lay noisily amongst the seaweed.
It was noisy because you could hear Everwonder singing at full volume, though it sounded more like 100 fingernails dancing across a blackboard.
It was not his fault; he’d never had singing lessons.
However, if you have ever sung opera in a glass bottle, the acoustics are superb.
Coincidently, at that moment, a drunk man stumbled by.
Life depends on coincidently, otherwise not much would happen and the world would be in even more chaos.
The drunk, whose name was Unlikely Tomakeit, stumbled, stopped, listened and started to cry.
He raised his shaky arms to the sky.
“Angels, I can hear angelic voices singing to me,” he was tone deaf.
“Mother was right, I am special. I have been chosen.”
The singing stopped.
Everwonder could hear Unlikely’s warbling voice, “Oi! over here, let me out!”
“My god, it’s calling me! Sir Angel I am down on bended knee, being humble before your glorious presence”.
“Did you say you have presents, that is a coincidence, so have I, let me out so that I can give them to you.”
“Sir, Miss, I am now prostrating myself and await the gilded message, from the one who is sitting at home on his throne, waiting for me to sit on his right or was it left-hand side!”
“No over here, in the bottle. I’m over here in the bottle.”
Unlikely looked up from his prostrations and crawled over to the source of the angelic sound.
“Here, I’m here in the bottle, let me out and I will give you three wishes.”
Unlikely sifted through the seaweed and then he spied an odd object.
He picked it up and scraped some of the growth from its side.
Surprisingly, it was a bottle.
“That’s it, now see if you can get the cork out, without breaking the bottle otherwise everyone within 2000 miles will die.”
Everwonder usually didn’t tell lies, but he was getting desperate so he added the bit about dying.
Everwonder was the only one who would have died if the bottle was broken.
Unlikely carefully cleaned the top of the bottle and slowly eased the long cork out.
“That’s it, keep going steady, steady.”
Suddenly the cork was off and Everwonder was standing on the sand shaking himself down.
Coincidently he was dressed like the genie that you used to read about as a child.
“You don’t look like an angel,” said Unlikely Tomakeit, scrambling to his feet.
“Looks can be deceiving young fellow, now don’t waste my time. You can have three wishes and I will grant one of them.”
“Can I choose which one?” Asked Unlikely excitedly.
“No! It’s my choice. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to think about it while I do some stretches.”
Stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch.
“Times up! Give me your wishes!”
Of course, Unlikely wasn’t ready, but then because he was a little tipsy, it’s unlikely that he ever would be.
“Okay, okay…”
“Okay, okay…”
“Okay… wish one, I wish for a million dollars! Yeah, that’s it, a million dollars.”
“And two…?”
“Ummm… wishhhh twooooo…”
“Come on hurry up!”
“Okay, wish two, I wish for a beautiful wife. Yeah! That’d be good! The one I got now is ugly.”
It was the other way around, the wife he has now, has an ugly husband.
“And wish three…?”
“Okay… ummmm… wish three… I know! I wish for a beautiful family.”
He already had one, but he was too drunk to see.
“Right,” said Everwonder Wotsup, “That’s easy, you can have the million dollars. Goodbye!”
Of all the twists of fate or coincidences, depending upon which god you favor, Unlikely Tomakeit ended up losing most of his money in the divorce to his wife.
Stranger still, she ended up marrying Everwonder, so he had a beautiful wife, family and a lot of money in the bank.
Coincidences can leave you flummoxed.
No, a flummox is not a subterranean tweet tweet bird.
It’s overwhelming sometimes how life can twist and distort circumstances in ways beyond imagination.
But you must give it time and space in which to happen.
Know what you want and make sure it’s from the heart and not some vain, self-glorifying fantasy from your ego.
Then relax and let your infinite consciousness mold the fabric of life around your desired circumstances.
Life is not mean and narrow but people make it that way by mean and narrow thoughts.
Ever wonder what’s up with your life?
You are what’s up and you’re unlikely to make it happy, if you don’t clear your mind of self-indulgent clutter.
Let coincidences play their strange role in your life by trusting your very own intuition to sort things out for you.