7,345,628 friends

The toughest guy in the world had done it all.
It’s not easy to be the best in the world at anything.

For one thing, you’re not the best in the world, they just say that for effect and to make more money.
Even Miss World is not the most beautiful woman in the world.
She shouldn’t be called that; she should be called ‘the winner out of the few ladies in the world with egos big enough to enter the competition’.
Ask any child and they will tell you who the most beautiful lady is, it’s always mum.
Anyway, the guy who won the toughest man in the world competition only came first out of those that went into the competition, he didn’t beat everyone in the world.
If he had to, he may have only come second or even third because there’s some very tough guys out there in some of those dark little countries that you can’t spell.
Places like Tjakakl… Tajkahak… Tkaja… does not matter, you know the one’s I mean.
To win the prize he had to do a lot of tough things like dance with a wild bear, share morning tea with a boa constrictor and spend two weeks teaching high school kids etiquette.
He also had to eat a whole ants nest and swim backwards up the world’s highest waterfall.
He could outrun a raging river and not once, but twice managed to capture a flock of middle aged mud slingers.
None of these things worried Rothergore Ruffstuff, the thing that put him to the test was climbing Mt. Fugluwuppa with one hand while texting his friends on Spacebook with the other hand.
If at any stage he stopped texting, he would fail.
He loved climbing, but being outwardly social and having many friends just wasn’t his thing.
He had a great fear of stupidity and it was exemplified by inane texting.
Texting was the last great frontier for him to conquer,
I mean he had nothing to say, nothing to tell them.
How can you text if you haven’t any message to share.
What’s he supposed to say, “Today I ate breakfast and then started climbing, now I am climbing, now I am climbing, now I am climbing…?”
How many friends will you end up with if that’s all you can say?
He had also heard, that some of his 7,345,628 friends on Spacebook weren’t genuine.
This hurt his heart, “You can’t be my friend if you’re not my friend,” he reasoned but reason has nothing to do with it.
Friends are friends whether they like you is another thing altogether.
So put up with and hope that they don’t all turn up to your birthday party.
For two full days in the blinding rain and snow, Rothergore Ruffstuff slowly climbed vertical crag after horrible crag with his left hand, while texting with his right.
There was no chance of sleep, for there wasn’t even a ledge to rest his weary body upon.
The climb was hard going but the texting was torturous.
He was conscious of the importance of not letting his 7,345,628 friends down, every one of them was interested in his life down to the finest detail.
Even when he slipped and hung precariously by the finger tips, they would laugh along with him and demand, yes demand, that he go back and do it again but this time capture it on video for the world to enjoy.
It was obvious that his friends were having a marvelous time and wanted more details, more personal information.
“What’s your heart rate now Rothergore?”
“Do you prefer brunettes to grape-colored hair?”
“Why are you sweating when it’s snowing? Aren’t you very fit?
Go on admit it, you can trust us not to tell many people.”
“Is it something to do with your relationship with your drunken father and that horrible woman he spent a lot of time with, about a year before you were born?”
When he finally reached the summit, he sat down and turned his phone off.
That nearly lost him the competition.
They even sent a helicopter directly from Spacebook and some strange guy, no doubt a friend, screamed at him over the speakers mounted under the chopper: “Turn your phone on you selfish pig, you’re ruining us. Your friends are nearly suiciding.”
What could he do?
He summoned the last of his courage, stood up, turned the phone on, then posed for a photo standing proudly on the summit.
He then uploaded it and wrote, “Now I am not climbing”.
He won, he had overcome the toughest challenge possible, texting.
He kept his 7,345,628 friends by posting trivial nonsense and worthless information.
Truly a great feat and made him well worthy of receiving “The Toughest Guy in the World” award.
You cannot compare in life, everything about you is unique.
Can you compare an antelope and an ant, an elephant and an eagle, a dinosaur and a dog?
Every living thing is individually different.
There is no best at anything.
There are no clear winners in life.
There is not one superior person on this planet, there are just people who are different.
People judge and then applaud each other but that’s only egos playing with egos.
Trust your heart and be happy to be your odd, strange and weird self because there’s not another heart like yours, regardless of what the media tells you.